Point I Fell Asleep: 0:50 out of 1:28 (57%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0489099/
Alright, first of all, let me tell you that I was watching this movie in 90 degree heat with no AC, so surely, I couldn't fall asleep, right? NOPE! Hayden Christensen is now the new "white man's Tyrese." You guys know Tyrese...the WORSE actor of our generation. Hayden's performance was worse than Seth Rogen, the former "white man's Tyrese." Worse than Vin Diesel. Worse than Tyrese himself....almost! I don't know what happened to him... he wasn't that bad in Star Wars... Then Samuel Jackson was only decent in the movie; not a fan of him with white hair. Rachel Bilson's hotness couldn't distract from Hayden's unemotional one-liners. Diane Lane only appeared for like 5 minutes throughout the movie. Oh man, the movie was so promising too. This is an example of how bad acting can kill a movie.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Flawless
Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780516/
I'm mad at myself for staying awake during this stupid movie. I feel like I'm scraping the bottom of the movie barrel here. The only reason I watched it was because it had Demi Moore and Michael Caine in it. Lessons learned from this geriatric Ocean's Two ripoff - 1. Demi Moore can no longer carry a movie by herself and 2. Stop watching Michael Caine movies. Ugh! I feel so disgusted at myself for wasting the last 1:45 hrs of my life.
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780516/
I'm mad at myself for staying awake during this stupid movie. I feel like I'm scraping the bottom of the movie barrel here. The only reason I watched it was because it had Demi Moore and Michael Caine in it. Lessons learned from this geriatric Ocean's Two ripoff - 1. Demi Moore can no longer carry a movie by herself and 2. Stop watching Michael Caine movies. Ugh! I feel so disgusted at myself for wasting the last 1:45 hrs of my life.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Cloverfield
Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1060277/
So this is the modern day version of the "Blair Witch Project," where the movie was shot using a video camera the character holds throughout the movie. Kinda made me nauseous at first, but after a while, you got used to it. So there are quite a number of things I want t say about this movie:
***** SPOILER ALERT *****
So let's see.
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1060277/
So this is the modern day version of the "Blair Witch Project," where the movie was shot using a video camera the character holds throughout the movie. Kinda made me nauseous at first, but after a while, you got used to it. So there are quite a number of things I want t say about this movie:
- The movie was really short. Maybe 1:10 or so. Funny thing is that when I started the movie, it gave me a total time of 1:25, so the last 15 minutes was all credits. That's almost a 5th of the movie. Terrible!
- The girlfriend is very cute. She's like a poor man's Megan Fox.
- There should have been more extras in the movie. NYC is a little more populated than what they showed in the movie.
The rest of my points will have to go into the Spoiler Alert section, so make sure you've seen the movie before you read that part. Overall, I wouldn't say the movie was "good," but it was interesting. I've come to start appreciating these weird interesting movies that keep me awake versus the cliche blockbuster movies. I do recommend you see the movie though, if only to be used as a conversation piece at your next happy hour gathering.
***** SPOILER ALERT *****
So let's see.
- I'm glad the movie ended the way it did. I actually thought the movie was going to end when the chopper crashed. That's when it SHOULD have ended. I got mad when I realized that they didn't die...
- Then again, they should have died in the subway when those monsters attacked them. No way 2 guys and 2 girls are going to be able to fend off a handful of those things, especially since at the beginning of the attack, you see the animals taking out the Marines.
- But the ending was good. I'm glad all of them died versus being chopper'ed off the island like it was the Jurassic Park ending.
- I had a problem with the main character going back to find his girlfriend. Think about this. They JUST had a big fight after she brought her new boyfriend to his party. That's a slap in the face. If I was him, I'd be like, "I HOPE that thing ate the both of them."
- And what's up with everyone following him to find her? I can see the best friend going with him, but the 2 girls should not have gone. Especially the friend of a friend. She shoulda been like, "Peace. I only met you 3 times, and there's no way I'm running TOWARDS the monster to help you find your ex girlfriend."
- Funny how the gov't was able to evacuate the MILLIONS of people off Manhattan with just the helicopters when we did nothing during Katrina in New Orleans.
- And seriously, there should have been a little more panic and a TON more people running around screaming for their lives. I can't imagine them being all alone in the subway station. Not only after an hour after the initial attack. That's just ludicrous.
- And seriously, did the bombs really kill the monster? I think they should have atomic bombed the city to really make sure they killed it.
The Nanny Diaries
Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0489237/
Cute "chick flick" movie. This movie affirms the fact that Scarlett Johansson is one of the most beautiful women in the world today. She reminds me of Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro, when during the whole movie, you just said to yourself, "Wow, she's absolutely beautiful." If any other actress had starred in the movie however, I think it would have sucked. For instance, I couldn't picture a Brittany Murphy or Drew Barrymore doing the movie although this is their typical genre. That's about all there is to say about the movie. It's not a movie I would go around recommending people to see, but it was enjoyable enough to keep me awake. One thumb up!
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0489237/
Cute "chick flick" movie. This movie affirms the fact that Scarlett Johansson is one of the most beautiful women in the world today. She reminds me of Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro, when during the whole movie, you just said to yourself, "Wow, she's absolutely beautiful." If any other actress had starred in the movie however, I think it would have sucked. For instance, I couldn't picture a Brittany Murphy or Drew Barrymore doing the movie although this is their typical genre. That's about all there is to say about the movie. It's not a movie I would go around recommending people to see, but it was enjoyable enough to keep me awake. One thumb up!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Meet the Spartans
Point I Fell Asleep: 1:00 out of 1:24 (71%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1073498/
I've always been a fan of spoof movies because they are so bad, they're good. Clearly, this one is a blatant ripoff of the movie "300," but there are multiple references to popular culture like the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton characters. If you like these types of movies, then by all means, you have to watch this one too. May I also recommend that you watch this movie with your friend Mary Jane, if you happen to date her.
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1073498/
I've always been a fan of spoof movies because they are so bad, they're good. Clearly, this one is a blatant ripoff of the movie "300," but there are multiple references to popular culture like the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton characters. If you like these types of movies, then by all means, you have to watch this one too. May I also recommend that you watch this movie with your friend Mary Jane, if you happen to date her.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Semi-Pro
Point I Fell Asleep: 0:50 out of 1:39 (51%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0839980/
Okay I think it's gotten to the point where we've had just too much Will Ferrell. At least Jim Carrey knew when to call it quits, although I still secretly hate him to this day for quitting comedies. So this movie was only remotely funny. It reminded me very much of "Dodgeball," but not as good. There were at most a handful of funny parts, but that's about it. Wait for it to come on TV in a couple of years. You'll thank me for it.
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0839980/
Okay I think it's gotten to the point where we've had just too much Will Ferrell. At least Jim Carrey knew when to call it quits, although I still secretly hate him to this day for quitting comedies. So this movie was only remotely funny. It reminded me very much of "Dodgeball," but not as good. There were at most a handful of funny parts, but that's about it. Wait for it to come on TV in a couple of years. You'll thank me for it.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Eye
Point I Fell Asleep: 1:05 out of 1:37 (67%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406759/
First off, I'm not a fan of scary movies. I can deal with movies like "Saw," but no "The Grudge" type movies please. But this one had Jessica Alba, THE HOTTEST woman on the planet...or at least 2 years ago, she was. And really, how scary can a movie with JAB be? Honestly, the movie had maybe 2-3 "scary" moments at best. The other 1:36 hours, however, were AWEFUL. Oh man, this movie was bad. Here's the jist - a blind girl gets a cornea transplant and starts seeing creepy stuff. That's all you need to know.
Why is it that there hasn't been a good scary movie since "Friday the 13th" or "Nightmare on Elm Street?" Those movies made me not want to shower for a week or be home alone for a second. Or maybe I just grew up and not scared easily these days. I mean, the last decent scary movies were what...."The Ring" and "The Grudge?" And both movies were Asian remakes, just like this one. Have American writers given up on this genre? It's just sad that 95% of American movies these days are either action, drama, or comedies.
Okay, now let's talk about Jessica. If you had never seen her before and this was the first time you were exposed to her, you'd think she was average AT BEST. Homegirl did not look hot in this movie at all. She just needs to stick to movies that show off her body. I mean, besides the "Dark Angel" series, what is she really known for? She was in "Into the Blue," "Sin City," and "Fantastic Four." What did those 3 movies had in common? She was in a bikini, she was in a sexy cowboy getup, and she wore spandex. I read a year ago that she wanted to do more serious movies so that she wouldn't always be portrayed as a sex symbol? Huh? That's like when MJ went to go play baseball. And we all know how that turned out...
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406759/
First off, I'm not a fan of scary movies. I can deal with movies like "Saw," but no "The Grudge" type movies please. But this one had Jessica Alba, THE HOTTEST woman on the planet...or at least 2 years ago, she was. And really, how scary can a movie with JAB be? Honestly, the movie had maybe 2-3 "scary" moments at best. The other 1:36 hours, however, were AWEFUL. Oh man, this movie was bad. Here's the jist - a blind girl gets a cornea transplant and starts seeing creepy stuff. That's all you need to know.
Why is it that there hasn't been a good scary movie since "Friday the 13th" or "Nightmare on Elm Street?" Those movies made me not want to shower for a week or be home alone for a second. Or maybe I just grew up and not scared easily these days. I mean, the last decent scary movies were what...."The Ring" and "The Grudge?" And both movies were Asian remakes, just like this one. Have American writers given up on this genre? It's just sad that 95% of American movies these days are either action, drama, or comedies.
Okay, now let's talk about Jessica. If you had never seen her before and this was the first time you were exposed to her, you'd think she was average AT BEST. Homegirl did not look hot in this movie at all. She just needs to stick to movies that show off her body. I mean, besides the "Dark Angel" series, what is she really known for? She was in "Into the Blue," "Sin City," and "Fantastic Four." What did those 3 movies had in common? She was in a bikini, she was in a sexy cowboy getup, and she wore spandex. I read a year ago that she wanted to do more serious movies so that she wouldn't always be portrayed as a sex symbol? Huh? That's like when MJ went to go play baseball. And we all know how that turned out...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The Other Boleyn Girl
Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Midnight
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0467200/
So I skipped working out to watch this movie. It was actually a tougher decision than you'd think. But I've queued up quite a bit of new movies that I do need to plow through. I honestly didn't think I'd be able to stay awake for this one since I started it at 10:30PM, but surprisingly, I was wide awake the whole time. The movie was very gripping. I mean, how can you go wrong with Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman, right? The funny thing is that when Scarlett, who is in my Top 5 of all time, was in the same scene as Natalie, who I always thought was cute but not Top 10 worthy, Natalie blew her away. I spent a good 30 minutes trying to figure out why Natalie was hotter than Scarlett in this movie. I was trying to compare jaw structure, facial complexion, fullness of the face, hair, etc, and no one reason stood out. Natalie just simply looked better than Scarlett. It blew my mind.
Enough about Scarlett and Natalie, the movie kept me awake because it was a weird, quirky, morbid movie. It was like "Girl with a Pearl Earring" meets "Wild Things" meets "Hulk" meets "Jerry Springer." The plot was just crazy, and the twists and turns were even crazier. By the end of the movie, I wondered if it was all made up because things got so absurd. Here's the jist - Eric Bana plays the King of England, and when his queen couldn't give him a son, he went seeking out some young pootie tang that could give him a son. That's when Natalie and Scarlett, 2 sisters, fight for his affection. That's all you need to know. Get ready for the rollercoaster ride!
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Midnight
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0467200/
So I skipped working out to watch this movie. It was actually a tougher decision than you'd think. But I've queued up quite a bit of new movies that I do need to plow through. I honestly didn't think I'd be able to stay awake for this one since I started it at 10:30PM, but surprisingly, I was wide awake the whole time. The movie was very gripping. I mean, how can you go wrong with Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman, right? The funny thing is that when Scarlett, who is in my Top 5 of all time, was in the same scene as Natalie, who I always thought was cute but not Top 10 worthy, Natalie blew her away. I spent a good 30 minutes trying to figure out why Natalie was hotter than Scarlett in this movie. I was trying to compare jaw structure, facial complexion, fullness of the face, hair, etc, and no one reason stood out. Natalie just simply looked better than Scarlett. It blew my mind.
Enough about Scarlett and Natalie, the movie kept me awake because it was a weird, quirky, morbid movie. It was like "Girl with a Pearl Earring" meets "Wild Things" meets "Hulk" meets "Jerry Springer." The plot was just crazy, and the twists and turns were even crazier. By the end of the movie, I wondered if it was all made up because things got so absurd. Here's the jist - Eric Bana plays the King of England, and when his queen couldn't give him a son, he went seeking out some young pootie tang that could give him a son. That's when Natalie and Scarlett, 2 sisters, fight for his affection. That's all you need to know. Get ready for the rollercoaster ride!
Monday, June 9, 2008
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Point I Fell Asleep: 1:30 out of 2:04 (73%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465234/
It's a shame that I went so far into the movie and still passed out. Funny thing is that I remember seeing the first one and sleeping through the very last part too. I just can't help it; there's something about these movies that make me sleepy at the very end. Nevertheless, I really didn't like the first one; it's watcheable AT BEST. This one's the same - watcheable AT BEST. If you liked the first, then you should like the second as well. Hopefully there won't be a third because things are getting a bit preposterous with these hidden treasures that someone should have stumbled onto by now. Oh yeah, could someone please tell Nick Cage that he should STOP doing action movies. Seriously....stop the madness Nick!
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465234/
It's a shame that I went so far into the movie and still passed out. Funny thing is that I remember seeing the first one and sleeping through the very last part too. I just can't help it; there's something about these movies that make me sleepy at the very end. Nevertheless, I really didn't like the first one; it's watcheable AT BEST. This one's the same - watcheable AT BEST. If you liked the first, then you should like the second as well. Hopefully there won't be a third because things are getting a bit preposterous with these hidden treasures that someone should have stumbled onto by now. Oh yeah, could someone please tell Nick Cage that he should STOP doing action movies. Seriously....stop the madness Nick!
The Golden Compass
Point I Fell Asleep: 0:25 out of 1:53 (22%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385752/
First off, let me say that I didn't like Narnia, and "The Polar Express" was so bad the first 15 mintues that I immediately turned it off. I guess I'm not a fan of these kids-in-a-makebelieve-land type of movies. To make matters worse, the movie didn't have an ending; there's gonna be a sequel. If you liked Narnia though, you should like this movie as well. If you didn't like Narnia, then I suggest you pass on this one.
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385752/
First off, let me say that I didn't like Narnia, and "The Polar Express" was so bad the first 15 mintues that I immediately turned it off. I guess I'm not a fan of these kids-in-a-makebelieve-land type of movies. To make matters worse, the movie didn't have an ending; there's gonna be a sequel. If you liked Narnia though, you should like this movie as well. If you didn't like Narnia, then I suggest you pass on this one.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Bee Movie
Point I Fell Asleep: 0:25 out of 1:30 (28%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389790/
Cute movie. Jerry's voice wasn't as annoying as I thought it'd be. Too bad Chris Rock's character wasn't in the movie more. I perfer him over Jerry. I should have stayed awake, but I was so tired, I don't think any movie would have kept me awake. Sorry if you expected a longer review, but there's really nothing else to say. It's just a cute movie.
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389790/
Cute movie. Jerry's voice wasn't as annoying as I thought it'd be. Too bad Chris Rock's character wasn't in the movie more. I perfer him over Jerry. I should have stayed awake, but I was so tired, I don't think any movie would have kept me awake. Sorry if you expected a longer review, but there's really nothing else to say. It's just a cute movie.
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