Monday, February 23, 2009

Disaster Movie

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213644/

This may be the lowest rated IMDB movie I've ever watched and stayed awake through. This is one of those spoof movies that you should only watch while you're under the influence, else you will hate yourself afterwards, like I do now.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Ping Pong Playa

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0991167/

Oh man, this movie was hilarious. Joe said that the main character reminded him of me, and after watching it, I have to agree with him. This movie is like the Asian version of "Napolean Dynamite." Every Asian guy has to watch this movie!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Body of Lies

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758774/

You know you can't go wrong with a Leo Dicaprio, Russel Crowe, and Ridley Scott movie. I can't remember the last "bad" Leo movie...maybe "The Beach." I know Russel has done some duds since "Gladiator," but most of his movies are good. Same for Ridley. The movie is about the whole war in Iraq/Middle East situation. I do have some minor gripes about the movie...really minor. Read it after you've seen the movie.

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

First off, what was Leo thinking with that girl? He's on a mission, not vacation. She should have never been in the picture. Secondly, I honestly don't see him exchanging his life for hers. Sorry, he's a little too important to be killed. Third, as I was watching the ending, I was dreading the typical "bad American ending".... you know, the one where the hero gets miraculously saved. This one came close to it, but backed down to a more believable ending. Then again, you know that lacky Kiram should NOT have been in that room in the first place. Plus, how did the rescue team get there in time? And was it the Syrian police or Jordan police? Questions that may never be answered...

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Lakeview Terrace

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0947802/

Remind me to never move in next to a police officer, especially one as crazy as Mr. Samuel L. Jackson. This movie was surprisingly good. Not great, but not as crappy as I was expecting. It's the typical cop drama, but it also hit on the race card, interracial dating, corrupt cops, child abuse, etc. However, the ending was TERRIBLE. Once you've seen it, read the spoiler about my rant on it.

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

Alright, you KNOW what I'm going to talk about. How did homeboy NOT put the gun down? 99.9% of people would put the gun down in that situation because 1) they're going to eventually cuff the cop and see the gun in his back and 2) he has the phone and the phone records to prove the cop was corrupt. Worst case, you tell internal affairs and have them check the cell phone log. PLUS, you're risking your life because he could have easily put that bullet in your head instead of just your chest. Horrible, horrible ending!

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Max Payne

Point I Fell Asleep: 0:42 out of 1:40 (42%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0467197/

So I never played the video game or read the comic book (if there even is one), but I figured you can't go wrong with Marky Mark right? And I WAS right. The casting was great. The only other actor that could have played the main character was maybe Clive Owen. Anyhow, the problem with the movie was the storytelling was horrible...that or the plot just sucked ass. I was lost for the first 30 minutes and when I woke up, I had lost interest in the movie already. To be honest, I don't even know why I didn't just turn it off like I did "Hitman." Maybe it was the cutie from the "70's Show" that made me keep watching, or maybe it was Marky Mark. Either way, just stay away from this movie!

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Women

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0430770/

So I have lots of commentary on this movie. Let's fire away. First off, one of the gimmicks for the movie was that no man was in the movie, as in no male extras or even a man's voice on the phone. Secondly, the movie is about a woman (Meg Ryan) who gets cheated on by her rich husband with the hot Eva Mendes and how she deals with it. Three, don't be mislead by the low IMDB rating. This movie was actually good. I was going to type "really good," but I figured that would emasculate me more than necessary. I asked myself throughout the entire movie why I was staying awake. It could have been the fashion (yeah, the women's coats in it were on point...dare I say better than the ones in "Get Smart." Sorry "Devil Wears Prada," I didn't notice any nice coats in you.). Alright, that last sentence totally emasculated me. Whatever. It could have been the all star cast (Jada Pinkett Smith steals the movie). Or the best reason why I stayed awake... I put myself in the place of the cheating husband. I saw how the family was torn apart, I saw what it did to Meg's character, I saw the unseen misery it did to him, and frankly, I don't want to end up like that guy.

Throughout the entire movie, I wondered who the right audience was for the movie. If you're a man-hating woman who got cheated on, I don't know if you'd enjoy it (or at least the first 90 minutes) because it would justify your man-hate. If you're a lesbian, then you'd come out going, "See, this is why I'm a lesbian." If you're a girl who somehow drugged your man into watching this movie with you, I don't know if he'd be comfortable after the movie since you'd probably ask him something to the tune of, "Would you cheat on me with a hot young girl when I get old?" Even if you didn't verbally ask him, you'd definitely think about it and put it in the back of your mind. So if you are a heterosexual girl (single or in a relationship), I don't think you should watch it at all. No good can come out of watching this movie. Certainly don't make your man watch it with you. The best thing you should do is buy him a copy of the movie and make him watch it ALONE!

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Point I Fell Asleep: 0:45 out of 1:30 (50%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0981227/

I don't even know how to comment on this movie. It's like "Superbad" for little teenage romantic girls. There was so much talking, unfunny dialogue at that, that it just knocked me out. Imagine the scrawny little main character in "Superbad" talking for 90 minutes. He has such a monotonous voice that....zzzzzzzzzzz.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Rise

Point I Fell Asleep: 1:26 out of 2:02 (70%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389328/

So I started this movie nearly 3 months ago, and the only reason why I finished it today was 1) I like closure and 2) it was interesting enough for me to finish. The movie was referred to me by Chanh because Lucy Liu stars in it. Plus, I usually find vampire movies entertaining. However, while watching the rest of it tonight, I actually fell asleep again. Dough!