Never Back Down

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1023111/

I had no intention of ever watching this movie since it scored a whopping 5.7 on the IMDB rankings, but Amber Heard was the cover girl of this month's Maxim magazine. She's going to be starring in "Pineapple Express," which sounds like it's going to be a classic already. Let's hope Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen changes my lowly opinion of them. Anyway, Amber didn't disappoint at all in this movie. I think she's going to be the next "it" girl. Surprisingly, the movie was REALLY ENTERTAINING. It was a mix of "Fight Club," "Bloodsport," and "Friday Night Lights." It's about this kid who moves to a new city and high school and finds this undercover mixed martial arts ring. It has every element of the stereotypical high school flick with "the new guy at school," "the popular bad boy," and "the hot girl that both guys fight for." Then there's also the stereotypical "Bloodsport" type flick where.... well, I'm not going to ruin the movie for you. You get the picture!

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Point I Fell Asleep: 1:28 out of 1:40 (88%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0481536/

Well I guess if you enjoyed the first one, then you sorta have to watch this one too right? Really not much else to say about the movie. It's not going to win an Oscar, but it's entertaining to say the least.

There Will Be Blood

Point I Fell Asleep: 2:10 out of 2:38 (82%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469494/

This was a best picture nominee for the Oscars in 2008. And for the first 2:10 hrs, it was really good. I thought the movie was going to be similar to "Gangs of New York" with lots of fighting, but it turned out to be a story about an oil man's uprising. I'm sure there was a religious metaphor too, but that clearly went over my head. Daniel Day-Lewis gave a REALLY good performance. When I was watching him, I had forgotten who took home Best Actor, but he definitely deserved it. The soundtrack stood out as well. The only gripe I had was that the ending was kind of weird; it just felt rushed and abrupt. Nevertheless, I do recommend this movie if you haven't seen it yet.

The Quiet

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414951/

I swear it's just a coincidence that one of the lead girls in this movie just so happened to be in 10,000 BC. Granted, that's one of the reasons why I chose to watch this movie over the other movies that I've queued up, but the main reason though was to watch Elisha Cuthbert, who is in my "Top 10 Females of all time" list. Let me just say that the 10,000 BC girl was much hotter in 10,000 BC; she looked very tomboy-ish in this movie, and I'm not a fan. Elisha on the other hand was HOT in the movie. As for the movie itself, it was very weird. It's about a deaf girl that moves in with a family after the parents' death. Then things just get weird and disturbing after that. Very "The Glass House"-esque. Although I stayed awake, I wouldn't recommend this movie unless you only intend to watch it for the 2 girls.

10,000 BC

Point I Fell Asleep: 1:20 out of 1:49 (73%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443649/

Once again, I have to make the disclaimer that I watched this movie "under the influence," and that's only because I heard the movie sucked. And that was also the reason why I fell asleep. But if I had watched it normally, I think I would have stayed awake the entire time. The movie was very much like "Apocalypto," so if you loved that movie, which I did, then you'll love this one. Not sure what else to say about the movie; just get your popcorn ready and be prepared for nearly 2 hours of CGI animation. Oh, and the actress in it reminded me of an upgraded, younger Lindsay Lohan, so enjoy.

Drillbit Taylor

Point I Started Fast Forwarding: 1:25 out of 1:49 (78%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0817538/

Now this is a first -- I didn't actually fall asleep in this movie, but the movie was just so damn UNFUNNY that I starte fastforwarding through it. GAWD, I wanted to shoot myself in the face because the movie was so bad! I knew it was a bad sign when I saw that it was a Seth Rogen/Jude Apatow movie. The movie reminded me so much of "Knocked Up" because I started watching that Apatow movie, and it got to be so boring, I literally stopped watching it after 30 minutes. I was wishing I had fallen asleep through this movie, and as you can tell, I'm still so angry at this movie cuz it was JUST NOT FUNNY. I'm about to start banning all these Seth Rogen/Apatow movies after this. If "Pineapple Express" sucks, then be prepared for my ban. Seriously, DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!

The Bank Job

Point I Fell Asleep: 1:10 out of 1:51 (63%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0200465/

Usually I love bank heist movies; there's just something about them that makes the movie interesting enough for me to stay awake through. However, this one was a dud. I don't know if it's because of Jason Stratha, who I loved in the "Transporter" series, or if it was because of the heavily accented English movies (not a fan of these, see "Snatch",) or if the movie was just bad. All I know is that I fell asleep, woke up, rewinded it to the point I fell asleep, then fell asleep 15 minutes after that., and didn't care to know what happened at the end. Needless to say, I'd avoid this movie if I were you.

The King of Kong

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Midnight
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0923752/

One of the best documentaries I've ever seen! It rivals "March of the Penguins" as one of my top all time favorite documentaries. If you're a video game fan or if you watched that movie "The Wizard" from back in the 80's, then you MUST watch this movie. The movie is about a 25 year old Donkey Kong record and how one man set out to beat it. You'd think it would be a straight forward movie, but there's a protaganist, antagonist, drama, twists and turns, etc. It's absolutely nuts!

Vantage Point

Point I Fell Asleep: 1:00 out of 1:30 (67%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443274/

I had pretty high hopes coming into this movie because of the great trailers a couple of months ago. And at first, it was pretty cool. But by the 4th "rewind," quite frankly, it got pretty annoying seeing the same scenes. Then just as things got boring, it picked up again, and that's when I fell asleep. Yup! Right before the big climatic plot twist. I have a knack for falling asleep at the most crucial points in movies. Anyway, I'll save the rest of the commentary in the spoiler below, and boy do I have a lot of gripes. As for the overall movie... eh, I don't know. It's the typical big Hollywood movie with big names and lots of action. Same ol... same ol... So if you like that kind of stuff, go for it. Else, just pass.

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

Three very big gripes about the movie.

1. How the hell did Forrest's character see the ambulance coming at the girl and make his fat ass all the way down the bridge and in time to save her? Are you kidding me? I don't even think Superman could do that without blasting through the guard fence. Even then, there's gonna be a delay...

2. And seriously, how old is this stupid girl for running across a multilane highway? If she was 5 or 6, I could see that happening, but she looked like she was 10 and she should have known better. Oh, and don't even get me started on the fact how she just STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY WAITING FOR THE AMBULANCE TO HIT HER. She should be killed just for being that stupid.

3. Oh yeah, let's not forget how this plan must have taken months to plan and now it's all foiled because of a little girl in the middle of the highway. Yeah, let's not forget about the dozens of other little kids that were killed with the bombings. Seriously, if I were the driver of that ambulance, that's a new speed bump on the highway. So stupid.

4. I know I said there were only 3 gripes, but I just thought of a 4th. You know how they knocked the President out by making him smell the chemical in the handkerchief. But how is it that in other movies, the character is knocked out for like HOURS, but yet in this movie, the President wakes up in like 10 minutes? And I can't see the oxygen mask waking him up. And why even wake him up?!?

5. Speaking of which, why the F are you meeting in a public place in the underpass? Seriously?!? No abandoned warehouses were available? No headquarters somewhere outside the city? Your meeting point is under a highway where there are still people running around? And what was their plan with the President? I still don't know what they were going to do with him! Oh man, I could go on and on, but let me go WOOOSAAAAAAAAAAA...

21

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478087/

Oh where to even begin with this movie... let's get my 3 major problems with this movie out of the way. 1. The main character should have been Asian. What? Was John Cho not available? Or did the producers think it wouldn't have been commercially successful if the lead character was Asian? Or if you're going to get a white guy to play a role that should have been Asian, could you have at least gotten an actor we've all heard of? 2. I thought the female lead was going to be Elisha Cuthbert, so you can just imagine my disappointment when I saw Kate Bosworth was playing the role. I actually think I was more upset with this than the lead actor being white. 3. You know how annoying those people are that go, "The book was much better than the movie!" Yeah, I hate those people too! But you know what, in this instance, they were right! The book had more of an "Entourage" style theme whereas the movie was made into a love story. So disappointing.

Also, I didn't like Kevin Spacey playing the Mickey role. When I saw Laurence Fishburn's name pop up during the credits, I was actually hoping he would play the role of Mickey. But you know who would have made the best Mickey.... Robin Williams. Yup, "Good Will Hunting" style. I don't care if that would have been cliche; he woulda been money. Heck, even Dustin Hoffman could have played a good Mickey. All in all, the movie was entertaining enough to keep me awake, but if you really want the better story, go Ebay the book.

Be Kind Rewind

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0799934/

First off, let's just say I watched this movie "under the influence." With that said, the movie was quite entertaining. It wasn't the typical over-the-top Jack Black movie like "Nacho Libre." I think Mos Def kept him grounded. The movie was about Jack's character being magnetized and accidently deletes all the VHS movies in the video store. Then when someone comes in to try to rent a movie, the 2 guys decide to make their own version of the movie because they couldn't find a copy of the movie on VHS in time. Sounds like a winner, right? My only gripe with the movie was that it wasn't as free-flowing as it should have been. As in, there were some major gaps in the story that made you go, "Huh? How did he know to do that?" All in all, the movie is definitely worth a rental.

Recount

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1000771/

I've always liked documentaries. They tend to be very intersting and can usually keep me awake. Well, this movie wasn't a true documentary, but it did teach me some things I didn't know about the 2000 presidential election and the whole Florida recount fiasco. Of course it was very biased to the Democrats, but it was entertaining nevertheless. Funny how so many B-list actors showed up in the movie. Maybe they were trying to make a point or something. Either way, I recommend you watch it...even if you did vote for Bush.

REC

Point I Fell Asleep: 0:14 out of 1:15 (19%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Afternoon
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1038988/

Okay, so this movie was interesting. First off, it's a Spanish movie with English subtitles. Secondly, it's very coincidental that it came out at around the same time as "Cloverfield." So the story is about this TV reporter filming a segment about what firemen do at night. The entire movie is shot through the lens of the cameraman. The firemen get a call around midnight to visit this apartment building, and that's when all hell breaks loose. So I don't know how I feel about this movie. I don't know if I liked it more than "Cloverfield" or less than it. Maybe if I saw this movie first, my opinion would change. Either way, it's still an entertaining movie. The only reason I fell asleep was because I had taken a shot of Nyquil right beforehand and needed to rest.

Fool's Gold

Point I Fell Asleep: 1:45out of 1:53 (93%)
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Primetime
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770752/

This may be the furthest I've gone into a movie before passing out. Anyway, I've always enjoyed Matthew McConaughey movies cuz they are cute chick flicks. See "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days" for instance. However, this movie just didn't float my boat. Maybe it's the fact that Kate Hudson put a little weight on her face but nowhere else on her body. Maybe the plot was just lousy. Maybe it just wasn't that funny. Maybe I'm getting tired of seeing a topless McMac in every move. Either way, the movie was just decent. The best part was seeing the guy from the Cosby show; I always wondered what happened to him, and now I can die in peace knowing he still plays bit parts in stupid chick flicks.

Rambo

Point I Fell Asleep: ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE
Location: Home
Time I Started Movie: Midnight
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462499/

You guys know that I had the LOWEST expectation for this movie, right? Seeing as how Stallone is like 70 years old and the last Rockie movie was really bad, I expected to be asleep within 15 minutes. But you know what, the movie wasn't half-bad. I enjoyed it so much that I actually did start to doze off at around the 50 minute mark, but fought the drowsiness to finish watching the movie. I'm not telling you to go rent this movie tonight or anything, but if you run into it on a plane or Showtime one day, I suggest you sit and watch it. The only thing that surprised me was how gory the movie was. It had been a while since I watched my last Rambo movie, and I must have forgotten how gory they were back in the day. And man, Stallone really should lay off the 'roids and just grow old and decrepit like the rest of us. That man was more ripped than a WWE wrestler. No, I'm serious. He was THAT ripped. Scary!